And if I swear it feels this way…

Unsettle me.

Lose me.

Be me. 

More than the pretty things I see.

More than those photos,

dealt up from the bottom of the deck.

More than those pictures 

I’ll never send home.

Scoop me up in handfuls.

Ladle me in spoonfuls

’til the softness breaks that story in my heart.

Pour me like a swirl of streams. 

Hold me

on this wobbly stone

I visit each day in lonely dreams.

Hold me in lights 

from distant,

aching

eyeball cores.

Save me from beacons,

keeping scores.

Save me from finding the wrong fucking shores.

Inside,

I’m feeling invisible now.

I’m feeling so lost and unwanted.

I’m feeling so sad and unseen.

I’m

a train going everywhere,

just to go home.

My door key is a stowaway.

My keys are weeping in the locks.

I’m a letter to someone  

who lives on my hand…

sending me back to the wrong fucking shores.